Do as I say, not as I do.

Sometimes my job is really hard.

Someone comes in and asks for help, and I'm caught up in a whirlwind action/reaction. What kind of help do they really want? What is in between their words? Say the right things. Make them feel comfortable. Ask this. Don't ask that. How is their response? Checking off the mental list of things to do, things to say, papers to sign. Breathing can wait.

And then they're gone. Time slows again. Did I miss a step? Did I miss an opportunity? I'm left focusing on what was left out, unsaid. It feels like failure.

I know I will drive myself crazy if I continue to look at each file on my desk with a perfectionist's eyes. I'm not God. I can't expect perfect results. I don't even know what perfect results should look like. I can only hope for better-than-before-they-walked-in.

I'm always telling volunteers that their job is not to fix a person's life over a cup of coffee, but to connect with them and make them feel like a real human being; valued and equal. I need to follow my own instructions.